First of all, I can't claim originality to the name of this blog. That would have to go to Grizz over at Riverdaze.blogspot.com who just used it in a post today. Visit him. You will not be disappointed.


I used his words to name this blogworld because it rings true to where I am now. I blogged a great deal once, when I was more certain. Years, in fact. The blog title of the time, suited the time.


Later blogs had tepid names, borne of my true lack of direction. I didn't know where I was or who I was so I came up with hopeful titles, as if I could lay claim to them.


What Grizz said today on New Years Eve was, " I'm still on the sky side of the grass, which in my book is the positive that trumps everything".


That's pretty much where I am. It has been a very hard year, a worse month, a frightening week and a terrifying day but I am still on the sky side of the grass.


I made the decision several days ago that things need to change and it won't be easy on so many fronts. These days, every step... whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual seems to take such extreme e-f-f-o-r-t. I know enough to know this is depression rearing it's head.


I don't have someone in front of me to speak to, so I will speak to you... the silence, the unknown person or a friend who has passed this way, to my own heart. At least, I'm taking my voice back from the void.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

"Stairway To Heaven" Kennedy Center Honors 2012 featuring Ann & Nancy Wi...




Well, I guess this as good a place to start as any.  Talk show host just mentioned it and I've watched it three times.  I suppose if anyone asked me I would say that this is my favorite song of all time, and one that always spoke to me.  Unlike my male counterparts in high school, I never paid much attention to who the performers were but I knew their names.  Therefore, I had to look up Led Zeppelin photos to see who was who in the balcony and I was stunned at how old I've gotten.  Those in Heart, on the other hand, seem to be aging well.
.....

Unlike me, I realize, but I went to the doctor yesterday... New Years Eve.  New fear overwhelmed old fear and on Saturday my right hand made up it's mind to find the online page in order to make an appointment; and it did.  So, I went.
....

I don't like my doctor and I don't think she likes me.  She walked in with a dour look, sat down at the computer and started asking questions/typing.  Her good trait is that she's thorough.  The bad trait of any doctor these days is that they first sit down at the computer.

Look at me!

I already knew (from the visit with the nurse) that my pulse and blood pressure were through the roof.  I had gained weight.  Hell, knowing that was why I made the appointment.










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